What Kind of Music Do You Like?

Don’t tell me “rap”, “rock”, “electronic”, or any of those other vague descriptions. We musical elitists have progressed far past that primitive stage of musical classification! Nope, now you must delve into every minute detail in the music, and give it an obscure genre of it’s own!

Do you like deathcore? Digital harcore? Epic Metal? Folktronica? Celtic punk? Breakcore? Anarchic Folk Rock? Acid Jazz? Gypsy punk? Happy hardcore? (Is that an oxymoron?) Hard bop? Horrorcore rap? Indietronica? Industrial Musical?  Lowercase? (Apparently safety seminars set to music have their own genre) Intelligent dance music? Jazz blues? Jazz rock? Jazz anything? Lo-fi? Lovers rock? Mathcore? Math rock? Melodic deathmetal? (Another oxymoron!) Melodic black metal? Metalcore? Nardcore? Neo-prog? Nerdcore hip-hop? New age? New beat? (As opposed to old beat…) Newgrass? Nintendocore? (Not even fucking kidding…) Noise rock or pop? Nu metal? Nu soul? Oriental metal? Pagan rock? Peace Punk? Pornocore? Post rock? Post metal? Post hardcore? Post grunge? Post minimalism? Post fucking anything? (I wonder where they go from there? Post post metal?), Power electronics? Power pop? Progressive folk, house, metal, rock, or trance? How about progressive acoustic urban math folk? Psychobilly? Queercore? Rapcore? (Not to be confused with rap metal guys!) Riot grrl? Screamo? Sega music? (Not as strange as you think ) Skacore? Slowcore? Sludge metal? Sadcore? Speed garage? (Vroom vroom) Speed metal? Speedcore? (Slowcore’s rival) Super Eurobeat? Technical deathmetal? Thrashcore? Technoid? Tribal house? Twee? Unblack metal? Viking metal? Wizard rock? (A Harry Potter fan’s favorite, no joke)

My point is, it’s gotten to the point of stupidity. Even these subgenres have fucking subgenres. Doom metal alone has “Epic doom metal”, “black doom metal”, ”Drone doom metal”, ”Funeral doom metal”, and more attached to it’s Wikipedia page. (Hells yes I used the Wiki!) What…the…fuck. Why do we have to try and shoehorn everything into a distinct genre?

Also, seems to me you just slap on something before “core” or put a description before or after a major musical genre and you have your own! Recently I’ve seen humorcore and pirate metal mentioned…and I wouldn’t be surprised if sometime in the future people try to justify these as being distinct genres.

So which do you like? I’m more into Unblack Sad Technical Slowcore myself.

~ by Kyle on December 22, 2008.